Chocolate Candy Reviews: Feed Your Obsession

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Montezuma’s Revenge: Jungle Fever Chocolate from Venezuela


Everything is so global these days. So here I am in cloudy Seattle sampling Venezuelan chocolate made in West Sussex, UK that contains fruits I’ve never heard of (sultanas). The bar is called “Milk Chocolate Jungle Fever with Fruit and Nut.” Let’s see if it lives up to its name…

What are sultanas?

A quick pop over to Wikipedia tells me I have heard of sultanas and that I normally call them grapes. Thompson seedless grapes, to be exact. That might explain why I can’t find any trace of the fruit in the chocolate because I find green grapes to be nearly flavorless.

But I suppose the chocolate feels more global if the fruits are new to me (even if the rest of the English-speaking world does use the name sultana for grapes). Oh, and there are apricots too. Ostensibly. I can’t taste them either.

Adorable packaging

The fuchsia box has some sort of design on it that wants to be Olmec or Toltec (which are indigenous cultures of Mexico, not Venezuela) but really looks more like a teddy bear. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but it does kind of fit the manufacturer’s tagline, “Creative chocolate from Britain made with imagination and love.” As if this was some sort of Across the Universe happy bubble time.

Strange segmentation

One of the things I love most about a chocolate bar is the snap when it breaks. This bar has a very strange shape that does not lend itself well to breaking. There are some segments, but they are mostly overridden by a star design that carries through from the packaging. I could easily break the bar in half, but I was hoping to start with less than half a bar.

I prefer dark chocolate

It isn’t this chocolate bar’s fault that it’s milk chocolate instead of my more favored dark chocolate, but I still reserve the right to wish it was a different kind of chocolate.

Somehow this is starting to sound like a bad date. The taste is a little bland; the packaging is cute, but doesn’t describe what’s inside; it looks weird under its clothes, and I’m not sure I like it for who it really is. Let’s check out the flavor of the chocolate…

But what does it taste like?

Meh. Like I said, it could be that this bar and I were just not meant for each other. I do appreciate that the chocolate is not at all waxy and the more I eat, the more the chocolate liquor coats my tongue and I start to like it. This might be why the bar is divided in half. Still, I usually don’t want to have to eat half a bar before the flavor starts to please me.

Found a chewy bit! That must be either sultana or apricot but it really adds more texture than flavor…The walnuts are powdered rather than crushed or chopped, but when I catch a bit of the nut and the fruit in the same bite, the name is starting to feel more apt…at least the fruit and nut part.

Thought I caught a whiff of the aromatic coconut for a moment, but that turned out to be from the bathroom soap we’re using. And even if I did, are coconuts a jungle fruit?

In summary

I’m likely the wrong person to have reviewed this chocolate. If you like milk chocolate with a decent flavor, a packaging color that’s impossible to lose in your purse, a bit of texture, and that you have to gobble up all at once, this might be the perfect chocolate for you. Even if it doesn’t live up to its name.

Let’s hope the chocolate doesn’t live up to the name of this post. If it does, I’ll spare you the details.

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