More and more chocolate producing companies are striving to give themselves a unique branding in the crowded chocolate candy market. It’s true, you gotta stand out somehow. Maybe it’s adding whacky ingredients like Frey Supreme (hot chili pepper anyone?) or Dove Chocolates, targeting women and focusing on relaxing, treating yourself and loving everything around you with a chocolatey hug. (Complete with positive life affirming message inside the wrapper.) Or maybe it’s hiding that you’re going to “mocklate” or reviving an old brand, but whatever it is, this has got to be the one that makes me laugh the most….which is what brings us to today’s post: Extreme Chocolate!
Does chocolate need to be “extreme,” “intense” or kicking me in the face? Let’s find out.
Hershey has offered their “Special Dark” chocolate version for a long time now and perhaps is even to blame for starting the whole thing. I’ve got nothing against Special Dark, I just wonder what makes it Special. I get the dark part. Fairy dust?
Swiss chocolatier Lindt offers us their version with the “Intense” line. Enjoy pear intensely, mint, orange or just plain dark. Dark by itself is intense as it is, but I like that we added the qualifier here to make the consumer think that the chocolate they are eating now could destroy a Krackle bar with just a mind bullet.
Mars jumped in on the energy drink craze long ago with the Snickers Charged bars. Who doesn’t want caffeine in their candy bar? It’s not like we don’t get it anywhere else. And at 60miligrams per bar, it punches a soda right in the face! Let’s not forget about Snickers XTreme either. See how they dropped the “E” on extreme? Who needs an “E” when you’ve got nothing but caramel and peanuts?! Oh wait, I think they call that a Pay Day. Add chocolate and you’ve got a Baby Ruth!
The best has to be their newest offering: The Lot. It features Mr. T, nuts and the word “sucka”. Please be sure to check out the Australian Snickers website that promises to “get some nuts!!”
Ghirardelli also as an “intense” line to draw attention to just how dark their dark chocolate is. It’s INTENSE! They also have an Espresso Escape so that you can get your coffee high and escape as well. I believe you are escaping from the sugar gnomes that rob small children of their senses like pixie sticks do.
And last but not least, is the aforementioned Pay Day, but in Avalanche form! Careful or you’ll be buried under a mountain of peanuts and caramel, covered in chocolate! It’s like Snickers XTreme! Oh wait, it IS Snickers XTreme! Who could resist that whirlwind of chocolate candy goodness?
So ask youself next time before you unwrap that chocolate bar: is this extreme? Is it in my face? Is it like how when someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. And then it was recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made?
Don’t make that mistake. Eat your intense chocolate and like it!
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