Cracker Jack Prizes Suck
27 Aug
Once upon a time in 1893 Frederick William Rueckheim and his brother Louis, mass produced and sold at the Chicago World’s Fair, “candied popcorn and peanuts.” Which would later on garner the name of Cracker Jacks.
Now Cracker Jacks aren’t chocolate, but they are candied and well, it’s time someone said something about them. I enjoy caramel popcorn immensely and I like the candied peanuts as well. Not crazy about the totally lopsided peanut to popcorn ratio, but I’ll live. What I can’t live with is the promised “prize” inside.
Last night at a baseball game, enjoying the traditional Cracker Jacks, I pulled out my prize. Fully expecting a temporary tattoo, sticker or joke card, which to be fair, pales in total comparison to what they used to put in: tiny metal compasses, plastic trucks, holographic stickers, glow in the dark creature cards, whistles, plastic animals and other tiny miniatures, I found this instead.
What is that? Well that my friends, is the worst prize in Cracker Jack history. Worse than any temporary tattoo or joke of popsicle stick grade. It’s Susan B. Anthony as a young woman, complete with a guess who I am history lesson on the left side. On the back side, the history lesson continues, informing you to look for the Susan B. Anthony dollar coin.
So what was the prize part? Young Susan folds up to show you….Old Susan! Oh, hooray! And old lady fold up. What a prize.
OK, history comes alive, I get it. Yes, Susan B. Anthony did a lot for woman kind. But was this really the best prize to make from this concept?
She belongs on the dollar coin, not in my Cracker Jacks!
Now a good prize would have been the Susan B. Anthony dollar coin. Like that’ll ever happen.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
My theory – too many unattended children choking on random cracker jack toys. Parents give to their children forgetting what is inside or not removing it first and are ASTOUNDED that their children put everything in their mouths and swallow. I’m not bitter, really. Just disappointed that those silly parents have ruined cracker jacks for the rest of us!
August 27th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
hah! well if you want good treats, you have to get kinder eggs! (Are they still banned in the U.S?)
February 10th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I got the exact same prize today and i said the same exact thing, i mean do you remember when they used to give stickers and tattos and such. i looked up prizes and there this was.. what can i say… what happened to the good old days?
February 12th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Agreed, bring back the REAL prizes of Cracker Jack!
May 19th, 2009 at 11:46 am
What a buzz kill it was at the ballpark the other night! I could feel the prize from the outside and just knew I was in store for some tattoos! I opened the package only to find some lame cut out deal with a picture of ants that you slide over a pencil. When you are done, it appears the cartoon ants are walking on the pencil. The girlfriend just doesn’t understand my disappointment. Oh well, at least the beer was cold!
May 19th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Ants on a pencil? Perhaps it’s time that adult Cracker Jacks were invented. The same tasty treat but with a real prize inside.
June 9th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I couldn’t agree more. Crackerjack prizes are nothing but a disappointment.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
I’m 45 years old and still don’t know how to fold the “new” face properly.
August 14th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I’m 11 and my Grandma remembers the fun toys.New prizes SUCK eggs!
August 18th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Suck eggs and then some!
August 31st, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Parents give to their children forgetting what is inside or not removing it first and are ASTOUNDED that their children put everything in their mouths and swallow. I’m not bitter, really.
September 1st, 2009 at 10:37 am
Preaching to the choir sir!