Chocolate Jesus: Blessing or Blasphemy?

According to Reuters, Frank Oynhausen of Germany has created the “Sweet Lord” series of chocolates, featuring the star of Christmas himself, Jesus Christ.

The gold wrapped chocolate confection has already been ordered by the thousands, despite the “tastelessness” claimed by German churches. My guess is that they chose the wrong word to describe this chocolate candy treat, as I bet it actually tastes pretty good. Whole milk European chocolate? I bet it’s actually downright transcendent.

They probably meant to say blasphemous or disrespectful but for 15 Euros you can find out for yourself if Chocolate Jesus is really tasteless.

The Roman Catholic Church isn’t amused either. Apparently the idea of eating a gold wrapped Jesus Christ for a holiday snack puts the man himself on par with the Easter Bunny and Santa. The URL of “goldjesus.com” probably isn’t helping either.

I wonder if Tom Waits is also hated. He did sing that “Chocolate Jesus” song after all…

Dont go to church on sunday
Dont get on my knees to pray
Dont memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lees candy store

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I dont want no anna zabba
Dont want no almond joy
There aint nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well its the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul

(solo)
When the weather gets rough
And its whiskey in the shade
Its best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But thats ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied